Day 3 of #31Survivors Domestic Violence Series - From Surviving to Thriving! - Robyn Robbins

At 12-years-old, I woke up to my adoptive mother’s boyfriend in between my legs.

Screams and cries rang out from Robyn's lips as she beat her rapist on his head with her fists. No one came to help her. The same man that Robyn and her siblings would be forced to call Daddy when he married their mother is the same man that repeatedly sexually abused her.

Whenever he would drink or become angry he was a completely different person - a whole other kind of evil. He was no longer the man we had to call Daddy, but he became what my siblings and I called "the monster."

Robyn’s mother often tried to speak up about her husband’s behavior but was met with fists every time. At first, she and her siblings tried to help, but when the beatings and stompings turned on them, their mother didn’t return the favor. After enduring the beatings a couple of times, they decided not to help their mother anymore.

Robyn thought the physical abuse had ended for she and her siblings until her step father began picking fights with them.

We would get beaten for the simplest things like not calling him Dad, forgetting to empty the cat litter box or coming in from school a few minutes late. It was like living on eggshells. No one knew what would make him blow up next.

When his alcohol and drug use intensified, he became more violent.

The beatings were brutal. We got beat with 2x4’s, 4x4's, belts, bats, his fists, his feet, his words and at times, we were even spat on. I would try to fight back whenever he was beating any one of my sisters. I would give it all I had.

Angry, Robyn fought the hardest of all her siblings and no one understood why she even tried. Her mother didn’t understand why she was so angry and dubbed her the problem child. It seemed that out of everyone, Robyn was punished the most. Her step father would throw her down the stairs and lock her in the basement for hours.

Convinced that something was wrong with her, they sent her to hospitals for “mental evaluations,” which only made the sexual abuse worse.

My mom couldn't see that she wasn't helping but just making it easier for her husband to sneak in my bed at night. Doped up on medication made me easier to restrain. Weak from the medication and in and out of sleep, I just complied.

Eventually, Robyn snapped. She couldn’t take it anymore.

I mustered up enough strength to tell, and social services (ACS in N.Y) got involved. My Mom hated that they were in her home, investigating. She made my siblings put their hand on the bible and swear that they would tell her version instead of the truth. This made me look delusional. My mother hated me even more!

At 15, Robyn was put back into the system. This time, a group home.

It was a long journey for me. Struck by the grief of leaving my siblings behind in an abusive home, I wasn't able to forgive myself for a long time at the thought of what they may have endured.

When she turned 18, Robyn signed herself out of the system and moved to Atlanta with her sister to begin a brand new life of freedom.

The healing process was uncomfortable at times but truly amazing. Even today I may notice a little residue but the key for me has been to confront it head on and not sweep it under a rug.

Statistics from the National Center for Victims of Crime report that 1 in 5 girls are victims of child abuse. Unfortunately, those girls are more likely to experience other forms of abuse when they become adults, which continues the cycle. Although Robyn could have remained a statistic, her experiences have become motivation. Now she advocates for victims of rape, domestic violence, and child abuse. 

I am blessed because I have survived many things. I've survived repeated sexual assaults, verbal, physical, emotional abuse and even the abuse I began to give to myself. I've also survived the adult entertainment and sex industry.

Today I am not only a survivor, but I am thriving! I walk in purpose every day executing destiny one day at a time. I live a happy, content and full life. My past trauma dictates NOTHING!! I am honored and privileged because I get to help other women overcome traumatic life experiences and achieve the same! I am grateful for the unconditional love of Christ - his grace and mercy. {My message to abuse victims:} It may seem like a dry and barren place you are in right now, but I want you to know that you can survive, live again and thrive!!!

Today, Robyn Robbins is a successful life coach, advocate and author of her autobiography, Diaries of an Ex-Adult Entertainer: My Road to Redemption.  She is the Founder of Triumph Multi-National INC., Robyn Robbins Enterprises LLC and Heart of a D.I.V.A. Ministries LLC.

Her hope is to “empower the ‘whole’ girl and woman for triumphant living!”

Discover more about Robyn Robbins at http://www.robynrobbins.com/

Follow Robyn on social media at @RobynRobbinsEnt. 


Learn more about the 31 Survivors Domestic Violence Story Series below.  

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