Kia became involved in an abusive relationship when she was just 16. She left her daughter’s father for an older guy who would become her worst nightmare.
I was a 16 years old who was tired of catching the bus and I thought I was ready for this guy. He was nice looking, good with his hands and all the ladies wanted him.
The first few months of the relationship were great but it all changed when Kia discovered she was pregnant.
When I shared the news with him, he made it clear that he didn’t want any kids at the time. He told me if I kept the baby we would both end up in a pine box.
Kia didn’t know she had any other options until her boyfriend suggested an abortion.
He quickly informed me all would be well and told me his mother would take me to have the surgery done. He was well-prepared and even made sure I had his sister’s school ID - even though we looked nothing alike. As I sat in the waiting room with his mother, I found out I wasn’t the first “daughter” she made this trip with. His previous girlfriend had walked the same road before. Now I understand how they were so confident this would work.
After the abortion, Kia’s relationship seemed to return to normal. She was content until the day her boyfriend became physically abusive.
The first time he put his hands on me, we were at his house watching TV. I thought he was asleep so I grabbed the remote and changed the channel. That's when he reached over and smacked fire out of me. When I told his mother what happened, she told him to never put his hands on me again.
He didn’t listen. The abuse continued and hand slaps quickly became gun threats.
One day, we were at my mother’s house when the phone rang. He answered the phone, only to hear another guy ask for me. He became angry and sped off to his mother's house. He went to his mothers’ house to retrieve his pistol. When he informed her that he was coming to shoot me because I was cheating on him, she tackled him down. After his mother dialed 9-1-1, he was transported to a local hospital to spend 4 days on the psych ward. I thought it was all my fault - that had I not been cheating this would have never happened. The sad part is I never found out who the mystery guy was nor was I cheating.
When her boyfriend returned home, he promised Kia he’d work on things. He claimed he didn’t intend to shoot her and that he just wanted to scare her to get the truth out of her. The next 2 years were filled with more threats with the very same pistol.
Many nights I would flee to my friend Teresa’s house to sleep on her white chase and get a home cooked meal. After the smoke would clear, I would return until the next bomb exploded. With his increased use of drugs and occasional alcohol, it wouldn’t take much.
The abusive relationship came to an end after a heartbreaking ordeal with the police. On May 15, 2000, Kia’s abuser held a gun to her.
He held a gun to me and asked if I wanted him to “spray me”. My 4 year old daughter stood by my side. All I could think about was surviving. I grabbed her and we ran down the street yelling and screaming. I wasn’t sure of what was going on behind me and focused only on what was ahead.
I remember neighbors asking if I needed help and me being scared of what would happen IF I accepted the help. I told them no. My boyfriend sped up the street, got out the car and pointed the gun at me. I didn't know what would happen next. I just didn’t want my daughter shot. He got back in the car and took off but I still wasn’t relieved. I had no idea what his next move would be.
As the evening seemed to come to a safe close, Kia sat in the back of a police cruiser with her daughter. She felt slight sense of relief until she saw her abuser’s car ride past. Afraid, she ducked on the back floor of the cruiser with her daughter.
His next moved changed our lives forever. He shot a female cop. Then he was shot eight times by other cops. Both survived that day. She passed 2 years later on a warm August day. He passed 10 years later while serving a 76-life prison term.
Kia’s healing process was long and tedious, as is the healing process for so many other survivors. Through prayer and opening her heart for God to heal and restore her, she was able to forgive her abuser.
My faith increased and I realized I wouldn't be the first or last to endure such pain.
Kia A. Richardson is the founder of No More Blows. She was a victim of both sexual and physical abuse. Today, she is a strong survivor. Her experience fuel her strong passion to advocate for survivors and victims of this silent epidemic. Kia currently mentors teens and young women who have recently left abusive relationships and are in the process of leaving. She also advocates for women suffering from post-abortion depression and anxiety. She started No More Blows in 2012.
To learn more about Kia Richardson, visit www.nomoreblows.wordpress.com and connect on Instagram @NoMoreBlows.